'For a Good Time, Call' review: Sorry, wrong number - The Star-Ledger - NJ.com

(FOCUS)Ari Gaynor talks dirty to us in "For a Good Time, Call."

Sometimes you have to work backwards to figure a movie out, and I don’t mean “Memento.”

“For a Good Time, Call,” for example, is a loud and pretty witless comedy starring Lauren Miller. The sometime actress also co-wrote the screenplay and co-produced.

Although the script isn’t very good, somehow she got it made, plus convinced Seth Rogen and Kevin Smith to show up for quick, gross-out cameos. Yet she’s only had tiny parts in about half-a-dozen pictures.

You have to wonder: How did this happen?

And then you see that she’s Rogen’s fiancée. And that, of her six other features, the only four that actually made it into theaters were all Rogen’s films (one of which, “Zack and Miri Make a Porno,” just happened to be directed by Smith).

Now, you might want to argue that the charmed existence of “For a Good Time, Call” has nothing to do with connections, and that Miller managed to get this movie made based solely on her talent. But I have to warn you, I’d win that argument.

After all, I’ve seen the movie.

“For a Good Time, Call” is the story of two opposites, one a trashy girl, and the other an uptight princess. Due to economic circumstances, and the needs of the plot, they’re forced to share an apartment â€" an apartment which, they soon realize, they can’t really afford.

So, they start a phone-sex business.

This, of course, allows for non-stop, incredibly filthy monologues from our two actresses. Plus many, many scenes of gross men masturbating (Smith doesn’t even take the cigarette out of his hand). Also more sex toys than a nightstand in the “Jersey Shore” house.

There’s just nothing here that’s very funny. Or sexy.

Ari Graynor, who usually plays “the friend” in movies like this (a job she just did for “Celeste and Jesse Forever”) certainly seems to be enjoying the chance of a rare lead. She has Ellen Barkin's suspicious eyes, Bette Midler's wicked grin and no visible inhibitions at all.

And Justin Long pushes camp into overdrive as that standard rom-com cliché, the sassy gay -- which, come to think of it, was also mocked in “Celeste and Jesse Forever,” and something Long did long before in “Zack and Miri Make a Porno.”

Which also starred Rogen. And was directed by Smith. And had Miller in a tiny part billed as “Moaner and Groaner.”

See â€" it’s all connected.

Unfortunately nothing here is very good. Miller isn’t very appealing as an actress or writer; her line readings are flat and her character’s transformation from prude to porn-talker isn’t at all convincing. And first-time director Jamie Travis’ idea of humor is to slather everything in “funny” music (always a sign of desperation).

And for all its verbal raunch, where’s the eroticism? The movie seems to raise one sexy possibility â€" that its two heroines might actually be gay. But it can never make up its mind whether or not to really go through with it, and it keeps dancing away from the subject.

Just the way you should avoid this movie.

Ratings note: The film contains constant strong language, sexual situations and drug use.

'For a Good Time, Call' (R) Focus (86 min.)
Directed by Jamie Travis. With Ari Graynor, Lauren Miller. Now playing in New York.
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Follow film critic Stephen Whitty on Twitter at @StephenWhitty